Understanding the INTJ Paradox

81. INTJ Paradox

“Cold, calculated, and highly rational is what makes INTJ’s who they are…” ever heard that one before?

Well I’m about to let you in on a little secret, that’s not the whole truth.

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Understanding INTJs: Part 2


INTJs are of the top most misunderstood types, and I can vouch for that. It’s truly frustrating trying to explain to someone close to you how differently you think. In Part 1 I explained the functions and what I thought they applied to relationships, whether that be a friendship or otherwise.

But of course it’s never enough to only explain how we see the world, so here are a few tips as to how others can understand us (even just a little bit).

1.We already understand you.

Know that when you want to understand us, we already understand you. I mean it gets to the point where someone may know very little about me, but I can predict their words and actions like its second nature.

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INTJ’s and Emotions


I am often judged because of my lack of emotions. The thing is I don’t recognize that I’m being heartless until someone points it out. I’ll say something to my sister and it’s the complete honest truth, and then she’ll make me realize that what I said isn’t exactly what should have been said. My own family sometimes believes I’ll run into emotional difficulties with relationships because of this. However the one upside, is that INTJs are very selective about who they are willing to let in and be a part of their lives and therefore, would never be with someone that did not understand how they process emotions. It’s not abnormal, only different.

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3. Introvert.jpg

Many people have heard of Carl Jung’s and Isabel Myers Brigg Typology Test (humanmetrics.com). Some have not, and it is a personality test that has had a major impact on my own life. It consists of about 70 questions and determines four letters that represent your personality.

Now this personality test like any other will not be 100% accurate, because no one is the same. However it often helps explaining why you are the way you are. Even when I first discovered the word introvert I jumped for joy because I realized I wasn’t some shy little girl. I was only introverted, and most importantly I learned that it was ok to be this way. I think that’s the biggest challenge some people have. They don’t fit in because they aren’t very outgoing or talkative, and they’re torn between trying to change and staying who they are.

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